One of the few true talents I've had in my life has been my ability to make good friends no matter where I go. Wether it be in sports, school, Agoura, or Rohnert Park I've always met good and honest people.

The last two days I've really realized how truely lucky I am. I have one of the most amazing group of true friends back in Southern Cali who I would do anything for at any time. These people I miss every day and who's very different styles and personalities always make for a good time.

Up here its become the same. I have made some fantastic friends over the last year that are differnet than other but share similir interests in different areas and its made living here so much easier.

This is the first I'm really going to admit it. When I moved here I was torn, I was happy to be on my own, and truely sad that I had to leave great friends, and what, at the time, was a fine relationship. The breakup and events afterwards were something that (and is no hidden fact) got to me pretty good. For a while fallowing all that I thought to myself, "i made the wrong descion."

Then I fell in line with some fantastic people through which i figured out so many things about myself that I hadn't before. I gaind confidince in myself and my abilities. I realized that in my field of study I was not the person struggling to hang on, but rather one of the few who truely understood it. A passion grew inside me to do more in this world again and I couldn't feel better about all that. On top of that I realized I never had to settle for anyone else. Confidince in indipendince and the ability to not just "take what came along." I grew up a little. I look back on things I wrote a while ago about how i felt and who I was attracted to, and now I can simply say, "I deserved far better than all that."

I'm glad to be going back to So Cal at the end of the month, see some friends (not all but some) at the party and a couple lunches. Its going to be good for me because I miss all the people I grew up with.

At dinner tonight I sat back and smiled a little at the fine group of souls in front of me who not too long ago really didn't know who one another were. Now, we seem to be a tight nit little group of friends, supporting each other through everyhing. Again, it helped me find my confidince.

The vow is... annoying lol. But I will say in seeing a couple more friends go the way of the couple.. and seeing it displayed out in front of me... its time to scale back the "whore" in myself. Don't get me wrong.. no time for relationships or anything. But I've denyed that little romantic side that's been burried for over a year now for a tad too long. Not that you'll see me start looking.. but you won't see me fighting it as much anymore.

Tis how it works folks. I've been lucky to have the people in my life that I've had. I'm glad I can make great friends no matter where I go.

-Marteney