Does the past haunt our future? Do some things wound us so deeply that we can patch it up but never really "fix" it? It does if we let it.

The trick is.. to realize, it's not the actualy pain we feel.. its the FEAR of feeling that pain again. A fear of bing put right back into it. The key is to look that fear in the eye, and dare it. Make life knock you down again. Beg for it. Get knocked down 7 times... but get up 8.

My good friend Blair and I are too much a like sometimes. We've both been described as "self myrtars" giving up personal happiness for the greater good. But in the end, in our eyes, so long as we're the strong person, so long as we know life can throw anything it wants at us and we'll get right back up, and so long as we keep getting back up that's all that matters.

Lets be honest, some pretty shitty stuff has passed through my life. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything though. The down moments give us strength if we let it. So long as we don't let the past controll our future. Learn from the past, but dictate your own future.

If i hadn't done that I wouldn't have had the good times and bad. While relationships ended in pretty dark shaddy moments with the first couple gfs, and the crappy bs endings with allie and then michelle... i still can't let the fear of being treated that bad and hurt that much.

Controling fears, controling the past, not letting either one control you. That's how we've got to live some times. It's never easy, but hey.. sometiems you have a bad day at the plate. But the next at bat... you might send one out of the park.

"Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday's success or put its failures behind and start over again. That's the way life is, with a new game every day, and that's the way baseball is." -Bob Feller

Stay strong love.

-Marteney