The more time passes the more I realize, how truely bad at this I am. How many mistakes I exponentially make. As the time goes on I realize I have no idea what I'm doing I think.

I think too much, I over analyze in situations that I shouldn't and I don't think enough or at all in situations where I most undoubtably should.

Right now I feel sick, cold, alone and miserable. Like no matter what I do or what I say or what I try, I'm just not measuring up to par at all. I want so badly for everything to work, everything to come out right and everything to be at that perfect balance, but just as I'm about to achieve that balance I seem to stumble, trip, fall, and crash to the ground because I couldn't not trip over my own feet or put my foot in my mouth etc etc etc etc.

After a day of scilince, I've reflected and thought and pondered all possiable reasons and I guess, words in my life just isn't enough. But right now it doesn't matter, cause life isn't the same knowing she's not there to talk to, or be with.

Right now, life just doesn't feel worth it at all.

-Marteney